And the Winner Is...

I love award shows. I'm one of those people that just has to watch every one, including the never ending red carpet pre-shows. So, in honor of this year's Golden Globes, I decided to give a few awards of my own:

Best Dressed Older Person= Glenn Close
Best Dressed Man= Mekhi Phifer (purple shirts are hot)
Best Dressed Couple= Dennis Leary & wife tThe lavender dress with matching lavender tie is amazing)
Best Shoes= Paula Abdul (maybe it’s just that she has great legs!)
Best Earrings= Virginia Matson
Best Male Hair= Ewan McGregor
Best Accent= Clive Owen
Best Sunglasses= Samuel L. Jackson
Best Female Hair= Jamie Foxx’s wife
Worst Dressed Female= Miranda Richardson or Natalie Portman (she looks like she was wearing my dad’s wifebeater)
Best Necklace= Debra Messing
Best Dress= Felicity Huffman
Best Hat= Wyclef Jean
Best Accessory for Charity= Kevin Spacey’s pin and cufflinks being auctioned off for tsunami relief
Best Hair Accessory= Jennifer Garner
Best Matching Lipstick= Mariska Hargitay
Best Tie= Jim Carrey or Bill Clinton
Man I’d Most Like to Have Attended With= Jeremy Piven or James Denton or Zach Braff or Sean Hayes
Best Dressed Non-Famous Spouse= Dennis Leary’s wife
Best Dressed Non-Famous “date”= Morgan Freeman’s granddaughter (what a poised young lady)
Most Lacked Accessory= necklaces
Best Female Speech= Mariska Hargitay (who made us all cry by talking about having her father with her) or Glenn Close for the dessert analogy
Best Male Speech= two words, Jamie Foxx
Worst Male Speech= Jason Bateman (If you’re on an award winning show, you should be able to practice/memorize your speech and not have to read off a card!
Most Annoying Red Carpet Interviewer= Kathy Griffin
Best Golden Globe snack= pound cake with mint chocolate chip and rocky road ice cream, chocolate syrup and peanut butter (and Mountain Dew to drink)
Most Annoying Part of the Show= how they always do close-ups of the losers while the winner is making their way to the stage……if you lose, you’re going to be sad and I hate to see people pretending they aren’t feeling sad

PS= how come the people I want to win never do?