Sam's Space

Random thoughts and experiences about navigating life in New York City.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Do You Miss Me?

Every now and then I seem to get nostalgic about the past. And there's nothing like a snowed in weekend to encourage reflection. In case you haven't realized, I have a little problem with letting go. I've always had. I believe when something or someone is a part of your life, it should always be a part of your life. Think back to your last love-- you spent every minute together practically, shared some of the most wonderful experiences and milestones together, had happy times, sad times and all that falls in between. Then you break up and are never to speak again? Well, maybe that's a harsh exaggeration. But I've always found it hard to let go of people and things completely. My last job-- still keep in touch with all of those people. I even keep in touch with the past clients and pass along relevant news when appropriate. My old dance school? I dragged Lisa to last year's recital. Fordham is another great example. I graduate and am now involved as an alum as much as possible. When I like and enjoy something I want to keep a part of it forever. But sometimes, often times, these things are out of our control. Ever think about people from hs? I do. There are about a dozen people who I haven't seen since we graduated. I wonder what they are doing, where they are working, if they're happy, etc.

Then there are those people who it doesn't matter how much you try to keep in touch, they just don't reciprocate. I have lots of acquaintances who I only see or talk to because I make the effort and all they have to do is "show up". What's worse are the ones who can't even bother to show up. Those who aren't reactive to emails, phone calls, etc.

I put 100% into everything I do and every relationship/friendship I build. I know I am overanalyzing all of this...but I just can't help but wonder if the people I think about and miss ever think about me. I can't help but wonder how you can talk to someone every single day and then suddenly they forget you exist...

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